The Most Coherent Regret I’ve Ever Had…

After having a seizure and falling down a flight of stone stairs – I went home from the hospital the next day and blew over $2000 on shit I didn’t need. Clothes, food I don’t eat, I stocked up on crap as though a civil war was going on and behaved as though my lastContinue reading “The Most Coherent Regret I’ve Ever Had…”

Why Does The Exit Sign Look So – – – Close?

I reached 50 and realized that the exit sign of my life is closer to me than the entrance sign. When I’m gone – nothing is going to change and everything is going to change – over time. I never used to consider things like this 20 years ago. Twenty years ago – because IContinue reading “Why Does The Exit Sign Look So – – – Close?”

Do You Remember Back 10 Years Ago When …

You weren’t where you are today? Remember what you were doing and who you were with? Remember life before kids and pets? Remember who you were when you were still in school? Are you still that person? Sort of a hard question to answer, isn’t it…? Yes, I think so. Not exactly. Sort of, butContinue reading “Do You Remember Back 10 Years Ago When …”

Wait A Minute! Why Does Fate Get To Author My Life?

So. What do we do when we realize or become aware of this internal force that’s been driving us our entire lives? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? Do I follow this impulse, this movement inside me, or do I pull up on the reins and say, “Whoa there. Let me just think on this for aContinue reading “Wait A Minute! Why Does Fate Get To Author My Life?”

Is It Possible To Diagnose Oneself With Anything Other Than Being An Alcoholic?

I just thought of something every person on the planet shares – our mortality. It’s unavoidable. But that’s not a diagnosis is it… Hm. I donโ€™t know where this thought came from, but I was laying in bed this morning and this – situation โ€“ blew into my mind (this is totally non-fiction): I haveContinue reading “Is It Possible To Diagnose Oneself With Anything Other Than Being An Alcoholic?”

And You Wonder How You Got There.

Where we are in life is a result of choices we’ve made. I read, on a regular basis, that folks are unhappy with the situations they’re in. These situations range from marriage and partnership to jobs and freedom. It’s weird. The way I see it – nearly everything we do is the result of aContinue reading “And You Wonder How You Got There.”

Where’s Your Comb? Take It One Tangle At A Time.

Be your own comb. Only you know how best how to work your comb through your own hair. Stop giving away your power by handing your comb to someone else. Find your own answers. It’s impossible to conceive a question about something having to do with your own abilities without also having the answer –Continue reading “Where’s Your Comb? Take It One Tangle At A Time.”

Where Does This Notion Come From That Once We Get Sober Everything Is Going To Be Right In The World?

It’s not. It never was. Or maybe it always has been because imperfection IS perfect. Regardless. We alcoholics missed out on a lot of the drama because we were too busy creating our own by getting drunk. Life, people, complications at work, our feelings – they come in at us like a tsunami during sobrietyContinue reading “Where Does This Notion Come From That Once We Get Sober Everything Is Going To Be Right In The World?”

Step 8 ~ “Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends …

…To Them All.” From AA. ~~~~ I’m willing. But how can I tell if they feel or felt harmed? Do I ask – like – everyone I ever knew? That’s a lot of people – at least 26 to be sure. Alina, Bethany, Cindy, Delores, Frank, Grant, Harold, Iggy, Jake, Kitty, Loraine, Missy, Nadine, Oscar,Continue reading “Step 8 ~ “Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends …”

AA Step 6 ~ Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Entirely ready? God’s going to remove all of them? What if I need one later? What if I remove my defects myself through the practice of honesty and self-awareness, doing my best to make right choices and acting in integrity? Then I could say Iโ€™m actually in the process of working on this stuff โ€“Continue reading “AA Step 6 ~ Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”

Where Did You Get That Guarantee? And Who Wrapped It?

I’m starting to realize that one thing Life doesn’t offer is guarantees. And if Life doesn’t offer them, how the hell can a person or a group offer and then uphold them? Think about it. Are we really, truly, honestly, shits and giggles aside, ever guaranteed anything? And if we’re not, does this make usContinue reading “Where Did You Get That Guarantee? And Who Wrapped It?”

What Does It Look Like If You’re Loved TOO MUCH?

Maybe the better question is, what does it feel like? What does the line look like that divides love from obsession – or at the very least – preoccupation? How are we supposed to step away from it if we can’t identify it? Jeez! Think about it. If someone is, at the very least, preoccupiedContinue reading “What Does It Look Like If You’re Loved TOO MUCH?”