O, The Lies I Told Myself.

I’m good. I’m really good. I can tell myself anything and believe it – if I want to. Especially when it comes to alcohol and drinking. I used to say to myself, “I’ll have just ONE drink. It’s a special occasion – it’s St. Patrick’s Day” Or, “It’s Wednesday, Fuck it.” Or, “The sun cameContinue reading “O, The Lies I Told Myself.”

WHERE DID THE ROAD TAKE YOU DURING 2020?

It has been one CRAZY year! During 2020, I started a new relationship in February, got sober in March, Had a seizure and spent three days in the hospital in April, broke up with my boyfriend in May, got back together with him in May, moved in June, started exercising in June, my youngest sonContinue reading “WHERE DID THE ROAD TAKE YOU DURING 2020?”

I’ll Take An Order Of ‘All The Benefits Without Doing Any Of The Work’. ðŸ˜

In sober circles this kind of logic is called Insanity. Some folks want the benefit of sobriety while being able to continue drinking. Odd, but true. I read that the holidays are particularly challenging for a lot of folks in sobriety. They don’t want to be seen as non-drinkers. Why? I do not know. What’sContinue reading “I’ll Take An Order Of ‘All The Benefits Without Doing Any Of The Work’. ðŸ˜”

But I Thought I Really DID Want To Get Sober!

What does it say to us when we think we know what we want only to find out the hard way that we were WAY OFF? I’m coming to the conclusion – I think – that there are plenty of folks trying to get sober because they truly believe they want sobriety. And at first,Continue reading “But I Thought I Really DID Want To Get Sober!”

HellFIRE and Tarnation!

I had another drinking dream. That’s two – in as many nights. And this one included my oldest on. What is Going ON?! So, true to my nature to research stuff, I researched this. According to some in the field – those whose opinions I respect because they know more about the origins of dreamsContinue reading “HellFIRE and Tarnation!”

I Was Too Busy Looking Out The Window

We’re talking YEARS here – to learn the simplest lesson in the history of humanity! It took me 23 years to learn that if I wanted to get sober – and stay sober – all I had to do was stop drinking. That’s it. That’s all I ever had to do. Every day. I didn’tContinue reading “I Was Too Busy Looking Out The Window”

Intention Vs Focus

Can I be focused on one thing while my Intention is elsewhere? YES. I can easily focus on cooking dinner while my intention is to rearrange my living room (again). I can easily focus on driving my car to the grocery store while my intention is to make it OUT of the store without anyContinue reading “Intention Vs Focus”

Let’s Call A Spade A Spade.

I still find it interesting when I encounter folks who have indeed relapsed but prefer to call it something else. Like a mistake. Or a slip. Or a setback. Or (insert your favorite noun) … To me, this suggests that this person hadn’t paid the full fare for the recovery train in the 1st place.Continue reading “Let’s Call A Spade A Spade.”

Roller Coasters SUCK

I don’t care what anyone says, roller coasters suck. They’re dangerous and terrifying and loud. Here’s the interesting bit. Folks not only have a mental roller coaster available to ride in their brains, they choose to get on it and ride for days, weeks, months and even years at a time, without getting off, whenContinue reading “Roller Coasters SUCK”

Shadows

They’re great for making analogies, aren’t they? So elusive. So intangible and dark. But real all the same. In a way, they remind me of sobriety. Sobriety always seemed just out of reach during the midst of addiction, when really, the potential for it was right in front of my face the whole time. TheContinue reading “Shadows”

“I just can’t get through!”

Ever say that to yourself when trying to have a conversation with a drinker? It’s impossible, isn’t it … That’s because the person you’re trying to communicate with is temporarily insane. There’s nothing ‘upstairs’ except for a saturated brain swimming in alcohol. Unfortunately, there is no immediate resolution to this dilemma except to remove yourselfContinue reading ““I just can’t get through!””

Tough Love

How to communicate with the struggling addict? I know there are a lot of folks out there right now that are struggling with their sobriety. They want to get sober and they may even achieve some sobriety. But they relapse. Again and again and again. And sometimes this cycle goes on for years. It didContinue reading “Tough Love”

What’s Hardest For the Non-Alcoholic?

I can only imagine how difficult and confusing it must be for a non-addict to watch a loved one get smashed on their drug of choice. The incongruity and stupidity of an addict’s choices, behavior and statements have to be nothing short of mind boggling. That said, I think the hardest thing for a non-addictContinue reading “What’s Hardest For the Non-Alcoholic?”