I Need To Piggyback Off My Last Post (AA – Step 9.)

Just because we want to make an amends and clear the air doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do or that the person we want to make the amends to wants to hear it. Timing. Integrity. Boundaries – ours and theirs. Dignity. Consideration. These words deserve our attention. I think a lot of usContinue reading “I Need To Piggyback Off My Last Post (AA – Step 9.)”

AA – Step 9. AKA – O, Shit.

“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.“ What if doing so would injure me? Then what? What if I hurt that one guy who works at that one store where I got my wine that one time in Geneva? Common sense dictates that theContinue reading “AA – Step 9. AKA – O, Shit.”

Step 8 ~ “Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends …

…To Them All.” From AA. ~~~~ I’m willing. But how can I tell if they feel or felt harmed? Do I ask – like – everyone I ever knew? That’s a lot of people – at least 26 to be sure. Alina, Bethany, Cindy, Delores, Frank, Grant, Harold, Iggy, Jake, Kitty, Loraine, Missy, Nadine, Oscar,Continue reading “Step 8 ~ “Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends …”

Moving Out And Moving On ~ Chapter 27

The following is an excerpt from my memoir, Saturation. My divorce from Dick finalized on 17 November 2006 and about two weeks later I decided to move out and go back into treatment. This time, going to treatment was my idea. There was nothing ‘Court Appointed’ about it. For toxic reasons unbeknownst to both ofContinue reading “Moving Out And Moving On ~ Chapter 27”

AA Step 6 ~ Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Entirely ready? God’s going to remove all of them? What if I need one later? What if I remove my defects myself through the practice of honesty and self-awareness, doing my best to make right choices and acting in integrity? Then I could say Iā€™m actually in the process of working on this stuff ā€“Continue reading “AA Step 6 ~ Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”

AA Step 5 ~ Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongdoings.

What? The EXACT nature of my wrongdoings? What if I don’t know what they are – exactly? What if my list is really long? Like – who wants to listen to all of that? Wait. Do I even want to get into all that bologna? Seriously – what’s the point? How am I supposed toContinue reading “AA Step 5 ~ Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongdoings.”

Oooh! Oooh! I Discovered A New Analogy!

Okay! You know how when you’re driving along, looking through the windshield, you say to yourself (pretend if this doesn’t apply to you, okay?!) “Damn, I can’t see shit!” Well, who knows for how long icky, greasy, gunk has been building up on the inside of your windshield, and because you only clean the outside,Continue reading “Oooh! Oooh! I Discovered A New Analogy!”

First I have To Find Them – Then I have To Stuff Them In There …

Usually, one of them, Starla, is hiding under the couch (see photo below) not on the floor, but inside the bottom of the couch. They’ve shredded it. Buster likes to play chase with me when I’m ready to get him in the stroller. He doesn’t chase me – he runs away. By the time IContinue reading “First I have To Find Them – Then I have To Stuff Them In There …”

Why Do So Few Children Catch The Corona Virus?

What have we, as adults, LOST within our immune systems that children, apparently, still have? Why aren’t our kids catching this virus? What is so special about them that no one is talking about? I don’t get it. It isn’t even suggested that children wear masks. There’s newscast after newscast about children and schools andContinue reading “Why Do So Few Children Catch The Corona Virus?”

AA Step 4 ~Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

This is probably my favorite step in AA. I’ve practiced this so regularly it’s something I do without even thinking about it. I think another way to put this step would be to write it as “Stop lying to yourself. The only fool here is you.” This step is a terrific way to not onlyContinue reading “AA Step 4 ~Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”

When I Don’t Know What To Do, I

Stop breathing. Only for a second. I think real hard and squish my eyebrows together in concentration. And then I start the mental process of elimination – regarding the issue at hand – and I keep going until I have nothing left but one choice. Sometimes, I even have to write it all down soContinue reading “When I Don’t Know What To Do, I”

If You Could Turn Yourself Into A Rock And…

Roll down any hill in the world, which hill would you choose? Would it be a grassy hill under a sunny sky for a smooth roll or would it be a rocky mountainous hill at night for a bumpy – bounce through the air – “Where am I gonna land?” – all the way downContinue reading “If You Could Turn Yourself Into A Rock And…”