I reached 50 and realized that the exit sign of my life is closer to me than the entrance sign. When I’m gone – nothing is going to change and everything is going to change – over time. I never used to consider things like this 20 years ago. Twenty years ago – because I was blitzed out of my mind – I was going to stay 31 forever.
How much longer do I have to live? I drank through nearly my entire adulthood. And not one brilliant scientist has figured out how to move time backwards. Not one! What’s UP with THAT?!!
Someone needs to figure out how to work that out!
I wonder how much it’d cost to go back in time 25 years? Could I choose a different life path? Make different choices?
So – I’m left with now and today and getting my groove on the smartest way I can manage. Learning to follow my instincts and intuition is something I’m still learning to do when I could have easily caught on to these things during my 30s, but nooooooooooo. I chose to drink all day every day instead. Drinking fucked up all sorts of possibilities. I took advantage of time, energy, money, relationships and opportunities that were – each and every one of them – gifts. I took my life for granted. Big mistake.
At least I’m sober today. I caught on before drinking killed me – or worse – turned me into an idiot. I’m still here, so that’s cool.
Some folks catch their over consumption before it gets out of hand. Some catch it before it kills them. Some learn from treatment and groups. Some get signs from the universe and some get taken out by it. Alcoholism is a bumpy and confusing and painful ride – in every way. No doubt.
If you think you have a drinking problem – you probably do. If you let IT take you too far – it will.
Nip it before it’s too late. Don’t wait. Learning to know yourself and learning to hear what’s tugging on your heartstrings is why you’re on the planet. Do something meaningful TO YOU with your life. 👍
Your time is running out.