My Word of the Day = MERCY

Move past your ego.

Manageability

Emotions

Rational

Comfort

Yellow

Sobriety brings the above traits, which I’m learning how to incorporate into my personality, including the color yellow, to light in my awareness. I’m certainly not blue. Know what I mean?

If I were to show mercy (I’m really the only person I feel in the position to show mercy toward) – and I do on occasion because I have to because I’d go insane if I walked around with the weight of everything thing I did wrong as a drunk – I might give myself a little hug, cry for a second, eat a chocolate chip cookie, and then go outside for a walk. And I’d pet my cats.

If I don’t forgive me for all my faults and foibles, why should anyone else? I’m not a bad person nor am I the same person I was when I got drunk. I am that same person, but I’m not.

It’s complicated.

While I refuse to ever pity myself, I will and do show myself mercy and compassion, and continue to always try to do the next right thing – whatever that looks like to me. Except when I’m lazy. When I’m lazy, I’ll lay on my couch and watch Chopped on Food Network.

Published by Jennifer

I've finally found my happy place in sobriety. Yay! Go Me!

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