Sobriety brings the above traits, which I’m learning how to incorporate into my personality, including the color yellow, to light in my awareness. I’m certainly not blue. Know what I mean?
If I were to show mercy (I’m really the only person I feel in the position to show mercy toward) – and I do on occasion because I have to because I’d go insane if I walked around with the weight of everything thing I did wrong as a drunk – I might give myself a little hug, cry for a second, eat a chocolate chip cookie, and then go outside for a walk. And I’d pet my cats.
If I don’t forgive me for all my faults and foibles, why should anyone else? I’m not a bad person nor am I the same person I was when I got drunk. I am that same person, but I’m not.
While I refuse to ever pity myself, I will and do show myself mercy and compassion, and continue to always try to do the next right thing – whatever that looks like to me. Except when I’m lazy. When I’m lazy, I’ll lay on my couch and watch Chopped on Food Network.