Step 8 ~ “Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends …

An amends bouquet.

…To Them All.” From AA.

~~~~

I’m willing. But how can I tell if they feel or felt harmed? Do I ask – like – everyone I ever knew?

That’s a lot of people – at least 26 to be sure. Alina, Bethany, Cindy, Delores, Frank, Grant, Harold, Iggy, Jake, Kitty, Loraine, Missy, Nadine, Oscar, Pancake, Quiggy, Rusty, Selma, Todd, Ursula, Vic, Wendy, X, Yasmine, and Zooey. I think these were/are their names. These were my peeps back in the day. I’m not sure where they are now – or if they’re all even alive.

Can’t I just – you know – get on with my shit? Be a good sober person? Don’t hurt anybody and maybe keep my fingers crossed that these folks have gotten on with their lives and haven’t been waiting in some dark corner for my apology or for me to ask to make amends..? This step seems like it’s good for nothing more than shaming and bringing up loads of crusty old memories.

Maybe they’ll all see this post. Here – unto you all, I bequeath this picture of a bouquet of flowers as my heartfelt apology and I’d like to make amends. But only maybe because I don’t know any of you anymore and some of you might still be the epic assholes you were back in the day.

I feel so much better. 😶

Published by Jennifer

I've finally found my happy place in sobriety. Yay! Go Me!

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