Alcoholics don’t need to be told what they can’t do. First of all – it’s nobody’s place to tell another person what they cannot do. And second of all – regardless the remoteness of success – alcoholics deserve to be told what they CAN do. Whether they might fail or not is beside the point. Whether they might seek help or not is beside the point. Whether they might have to try again is beside the point. Alcoholics need to be encouraged. We need a good reason to make an effort. We need to believe we CAN do things so that we’ll bother to TRY in the first place.
It really chaps my ass to read advice from others that says that another person can’t do something like get sober without help because that isn’t true. It’s one thing to say, “Yo – I didn’t get sober alone.” But to tell another person that he or she can’t get sober alone – especially when they leave out their own story – is wrong. Another person can’t know that about someone else. It’s discouraging to tell others what they can’t do. And it’s UNHELPFUL. If people would stick to their own stories and remember what it feels like to be encouraged by someone who can identify with them, we might read about more successes at attempts at sobriety.
Isn’t this something we all want? To see others succeed?