In sober circles this kind of logic is called Insanity. Some folks want the benefit of sobriety while being able to continue drinking. Odd, but true.
I read that the holidays are particularly challenging for a lot of folks in sobriety. They don’t want to be seen as non-drinkers. Why? I do not know.
What’s the big deal if someone or some people, plural, discover that you don’t or no longer drink? What makes this knowledge a game changer? What changes? The image you have in your brain of how OTHER PEOPLE SEE YOU? How can anyone possibly know how they’re being viewed by other people? And what difference would knowing make?
Do you morph into a new personality each time you’re around someone whose opinion of you differs from the last person you were with? If you did this – if you could do this – where would the authentic YOU go?
I encourage folks to be upfront with others, during the holidays and every other days, about their drinking habit. There’s nothing wrong with letting other people know you don’t drink anymore. It isn’t necessary to go into the reason why you no longer drink unless you want to. That’s personal and not everyone needs that much information. But saying “Hey, thanks for the bottle/drink, but I don’t drink anymore,” is polite, honest, and forthcoming. There’s nothing threatening about it and the planet isn’t going to stop spinning because you say it.
Moving into sobriety is a life changing event. It’s not the end of the world. It’s the beginning of a new, saner, and healthier life.