
Those two qualities are innate within every human being. Those two qualities are what separate us from animals. Why some of us feel or think or believe that self-control and will power are elusive or are outside our capacity to utilize them, whenever we want to, is beyond me. It took me 23 years to employ mine, but I can see now that they’ve been with me my whole life.
I think one of the biggest contributors to my success at getting sober was this knowing sensation that being sober just HAD to be a better experience than the ones I was having drunk – including the experience of being drunk. Some people might call that knowing I experienced, hope or faith. Whatever it is – somehow I knew that life on the other side of a bottle had to be better – even if only a little bit and even if from where I stood at that moment – I couldn’t relate to it.
I don’t know that I would have gotten sober if I didn’t feel that way. What would have been the point? Right? I wonder if this is something all alcoholics need to believe in or have faith in – that life will get better. Because it has to. How could it get any worse?
This line of thinking led me to conclude that I disagree – very much – with the phrase “He or she or I hit bottom” in terms of drinking. No. I did not hit bottom. I crawled to the top, where I could see – not with my eyes, but in my heart – the horizon. I had some uncomfortable internal terrain to traverse, but I did it – bit by bit. Everybody can do this. I just know it.