I believe there are as many paths towards sobriety as there are people trying to get there. Everyone has a different story – except for the part where we drank too much. This – we all have in common. Every alcoholic can relate to and identify with why we become sober in the first place, which is the crux of this post. Every story is personal – even when some stories are launched from the same platform – like AA.
I see A LOT of criticism and judgement, daily, from some groups and some people that are intolerant of others who got sober using a path that doesn’t resonate with the one they used. And I call HORSE SHIT on that. Where is the support? Where is the ability to remember our history and identify? Where are the congratulations and High Fives for a job well done getting and staying sober – regardless how folks got there? SERIOUSLY! Alcoholism kills people. I think a little more validation and perhaps a short stroll down memory lane are in order here instead of all this adolescent, surface level, clique bullshit.
Everyone who gets sober and stays sober deserves to be encouraged and applauded. EVERYONE. PERIOD.
Folks who are not only staying sober, but are staying in recovery are being attacked for their success and accused of not really being an authentic alcoholic because they chose to get sober in a way that doesn’t fit the majority vote. It’s just insane. And unfortunately – we still live in a time where many of us actually give a shit about what other people – strangers – think. It’s mind-boggling, but true nonetheless.
I think it’s disgusting and repellent – this position some folks take of elevating their worth and achievement due to a group mentality and because they’re incapable of having a deep – original thought.
What matters is that ANYONE and EVERYONE who gets sober has done something TREMENDOUS. And that is all that fucking matters. How anyone goes about it is way the hell back there in 2nd place. Getting sober is so challenging that some people can’t even do it. They die. It’s incredible. Yet there are folks out there who conveniently forget this just so that they can brag about being a member of a specific group. They forget where they came from.
I get a little chapped when I read that folks are denying that they’re attacking someone for taking a different path toward sobriety than they did, when they’re following their denial with questions like “So – why are you even here?” Sarcasm and belittling intended. Now – if that’s not an attack – what is? Attacks don’t just come at us in the form of a rabid dog bite or a verbal assault from a partner or a parent. They hit us all kinds of different ways; in the forms of sarcasm, insinuations, questions, belittling, shaming, accusations, denying, ignoring, and the list goes on.
It’s a downright bummer to see that people like this are still living among us. It’s almost embarrassing. I want to be proud of the human species, but I’m not. There’s just no excuse to be so shallow and narrow-minded anymore.