The Shadow Creature Got Me.

I watched it creep across the roof of a building across the street. I warned the person I was with that it knew where we were. The creature stood and began to scale the building as I continued pointing to it, yelling “It’s RIGHT THERE!” But the person I was with couldn’t see it. WhyContinue reading “The Shadow Creature Got Me.”

What Is Better Than This?

(Besides morning sex)? I’ve got electricity, coffee, creamer, my laptop started right up, my kittens are happily tearing through my apartment, it’s quiet (except for them), and I’ve got a full box of waffles in the freezer. They’re (waffles, not kittens. We don’t munch on kitties, mkay?) particularly delicious smothered in creamy peanut butter andContinue reading “What Is Better Than This?”

What? Straight From The Bottle?

Drank hand sanitizer “Why do I so this? I’m going to go to a SMART meeting this evening. I cant seem to stop.​​​​​​the sanitizer made me throw up so I didn’t even get drunk. I’m starting my journey today. I’m sick of this.” Someone posted that in one of the online recovery forums I visit.Continue reading “What? Straight From The Bottle?”

I Can’t Tell …

Are the leaves turning due to the Autumn season or are they dying from the thick smoke and ash that covered our city from the Oregon wildfires (I live in Eugene)? I can’t tell. An umbrella of pristine blue sky hovers above and beyond the furthest leaves. It’s been nearly two weeks since I’ve seenContinue reading “I Can’t Tell …”

Preposterous!

(Preposterous! Isn’t that a great word?) Saturation continues here … It served Dick to overlook my relationship with alcohol, whatever he thought it might be, because he realized he couldn’t compete with it. Alcohol was the wrapping on the package that was ME. I made this very clear from the beginning of our relationship when,Continue reading “Preposterous!”

Please Hold. I Need To Overthink This.

What is it about the human condition that we, in general, have to make things so hard for ourselves? We overthink and over-complicate the simplest things. We’re so moved by our emotions that we’re at the mercy of them. We’re slaves to our own drives. No wonder some people suggest we only use about 10%Continue reading “Please Hold. I Need To Overthink This.”

Chapter 3 ~ Sushi and Sake, con’t …

It was a warm and busy weekend night, and I was too buzzed to take offense to Dick’s late arrival. Alcohol numbed my judgment and my integrity like a Novocain shot to the gums before a dental procedure. I felt nothing but a warm floaty numbness that I equated to wonderful. As long as theContinue reading “Chapter 3 ~ Sushi and Sake, con’t …”

How Do You Support An Addict?

The ways are numerous, but first – I think the most important thing is to ask your heart to have a little sit down with your conscience. Those two things need to come together in agreement to support YOU before you can comfortably offer support to your addict. Once you establish what you can andContinue reading “How Do You Support An Addict?”

Who Dreams About Their Old Treatment Center?

Me. I had an odd dream about being shown photographs of a birthday cake that said “Thanks for all your hard work LnN.” I’m LumenandNyx on the recovery board I visit and somehow I understood that LnN was me on the birthday cake. Realizing that the staff at the treatment center still remembered me andContinue reading “Who Dreams About Their Old Treatment Center?”