I just replied to a member on the recovery platform I visit and advised her that the behavior of the addict she loves shouldn’t ever be taken personally. Addicts are the most selfish, self-absorbed folks on the planet. Here’s what we love – our drug. Here’s what we’re in a relationship with – our drug and using it. Here’s what we want – more of our drug.
When we’re in our addiction all we can think about is where our next drink or our next fix is coming from. When we’re getting clean and sober a lot of us struggle with how to stay clean and sober. This too can be consuming.
I can only imagine the let down of having to look at someone I love and acknowledge that he or she may have never loved me back. In fact – it’s likely. This isn’t to say that the person didn’t care. But love is nearly impossible to reach when a person is saturated with a drug. All addicts love is the sensation our drug gives us. Even when the euphoria of it wears off – we try to find it again. And again. And again… This is what our drug use looks like.
This is the nature of addiction and being in a relationship with an addict.
Listen to your intuition when you notice your loved one behaving oddly. Listen to your intuition when questions about their words and communication raise a red flag. Double talk is a big one. Otherwise known as a string of words that make zero coherent sense.
There’s something going on that needs to be brought out into the open. So do it. Ignoring it only allows the problem to grow and get worse.