Something Isn’t Right

Here I am, a Recovery Coach and I’m unable to coach myself. Is this normal? My boyfriend, for all intents and purposes, is a groovy guy. He’s smart, he’s witty, he’s funny, he’s employed, he’s sober, he’s in love with me, he tries to remember to put the seat down, my kittens like him, and he’s even sorta cute when the sun shines on him just right – but something’s just not right.

I can’t figure it out. The more he tries to inject himself into my space emotionally, the more I push back. Last night we even had the sex talk. As in, “Baby, why don’t we have sex more often? You’ve got us down to one day a week.” That’s not true either – it’s only been down to once a week this week.

I don’t want to have sex with the man. What can I say? I love sex. I really do. Just not with him. I can’t explain it because physically he’s everything a woman would want – more than some could handle. If I may be so blunt.

…. Sigh. I do enjoy his company. I do enjoy listening to his stories (he’s a great story teller), yet I’m fully aware of the fact that my nearly zero interest in sex is having an effect on our relationship. Perhaps it’s that I’m new in sobriety after a 20 year drinking career? Perhaps it’s that I’ve just exited Menopause? Perhaps it’s that I’m just not physically attracted to the man? Hm. Could be a combo deal there.

Such are the conundrums that life has to offer. Once I get this one figured out, I’ll surely encounter something new.

Published by Jennifer

I've finally found my happy place in sobriety. Yay! Go Me!

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