Wine VS Coffee

When I drank, I used to replace my morning coffee with wine. I couldn’t stand coffee. My morning routine consisted of getting up at 7:00, taking my dog out to do his business, and being dressed and on the couch by 8:00 with my first cup of wine to watch Little House on the Prairie. That show got me through my early morning withdrawals. It ran until noon and that’s about how long my first double bottle of wine lasted.

Now – for the record, I still had another unopened double bottle, but I had this all figured out. So – at noon, I’d walk to the market up the street and buy three more double bottles. I couldn’t face the public without at least two bottles in me. My DTs were much too severe. I trembled like I was freezing and couldn’t sign my name to save myself. Once I returned home with my beverages, I’d park it right back in front of the TV for the rest of the day until my husband got home from work. He always knew to buy me a double bottle on his way back to the house.

Let’s do the math. That’s six (6) double bottles of wine in my possession in one day. I’d already learned the hard way to always make sure I’d have at least two double bottles waiting for me the next morning. By the time I was ready to hit the sack for the night, I’d consumed four of those bottles, and sometimes I’d gotten into the fifth.

There’s no such thing as a hangover when that much alcohol is consumed on a daily basis, which is how often and how much I drank – for years. What one experiences is withdrawal, which is the physical and psychological result of alcohol poisoning. It’s extremely gnarly and severely uncomfortable. The other thing to go out the window for me was my appetite. During my drinking days, I remember having to force a bite of food down and I never weighed more than 105lbs.

Drinking by that point had evolved into a necessity (this was about 15 years back). Believe it or not, withdrawals can get a lot worse than shaky hands, psychological distress and an uneven gait. They can get A LOT worse – but more on that later, because you guessed it! That’s exactly the road I went down.

I’m sipping coffee now – looking out my sliding glass doors at the leaves blowing in the wind. It’s already a beautiful day (9:56 a.m.) and I FEEL good. Physically. Emotionally. Psychologically. Even spiritually… It’s really cool. I love it and couldn’t be more thankful that I no longer need or crave alcohol. I nearly never say the word “hate” but I sure hate alcohol. Not one good thing ever came from me drinking any and at 50, I’ve had two lifetimes worth.

Best,

L.

Published by Jennifer

I've finally found my happy place in sobriety. Yay! Go Me!

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