Which Addict is Immune from Seizures?

Be helpful or walk away.

Not a fucking one of us. But for the record, here is a short list of some of the causes:

  • Genetic changes that run in families
  • Trauma or injury to head
  • Medical conditions that affect the brain, for example, brain tumor or stroke
  • Infectious diseases of the brain such as meningitis
  • Damage or injury to the brain during birth
  • Developmental disorders of the brain such as autism
  • Detoxing from alcohol and/or drugs

For the detoxing addict, the absence of the addict’s drug of choice coursing through their brain sends it into shock. Humans are little electrical beings and our cells use electrical signals to send messages to each other. It’s how they communicate. It’s how our brains communicate to us that we’ve just stubbed our toes. It’s extremely cool except when we do stupid shit to our bodies like take drugs, drink excessively on a regular basis or starve it from our drug of choice. Our brains get used to having our drugs of choice over time. When or if we suddenly take it away – our brains freak out. The cells go into panic mode and shoot off signals haphazardly like fireworks rather than softly like a light rain gently tapping leaves as it falls.

This brings up the subject of attempting to detox on your own. It’s not smart. But if you insist, not only do you have to be EXACT about how you do it, as in record amounts and times of consumption, the amount of time you take to taper alongside the slow decrease in consumption is critical. Most people who choose to detox on their own taper too quickly. And for those of you not in the know – tapering means to cut back slowly on your drug/drugs of choice. Tapering or cutting back too quickly is just as bad as not doing it at all and it can and often times does lead to one or more seizures.

The last time I had a seizure, I fell down a 17 stair stone staircase. It wasn’t pretty and I had to spend the night in the hospital. I was lucky that I didn’t break my neck. Apparently, my time on the planet is not yet complete and I still have more work to do. Go figure. Not everyone would have survived with just a few bruises and cuts like I did – so I’ve been told.

Anyone with questions about detoxing/tapering and/or addiction, whether you’re an addict or a friend/loved one of someone who is, is welcome to email me with questions. I can be reached at jlplace50@gmail.com.

Best.

Keanu

He’s soooo like a waffle with berries

>

In moderation pickles are okay. ]

I ride my great white with

A belt.

If it hadn’t crossed into traffic …

I’d kill it

PIE

Pie is an Acronym

Posture (back of the shoulders enter the room last)

Innocence (Except when you’re not. This might require some math.)

Eye Contact. (make it.)

Take this into court with you.

Skeleton Key

One size fits all.

Imagine an apartment complex with hundreds of units. Each unit has a key. Right? AND – the leasing office has ONE key that fits all of the units. The skeleton key. It has only one component to it that fits every unit. Cool.

Apply this skeleton key to the addict that wants to get clean or sober.

All the units and their keys represent options that can be helpful. Options like meetings, prayer, sponsors, community, books, etc… But what can a person REALLY do to GET and STAY clean/sober?

They can stop reaching for their drug of choice. That’s the skeleton key. It’s a choice followed by a behavior. Everyone has this key – they just don’t know it.

Do You Get Drunk Around Your Kids? Did A Parent Get Lit Around You?

Not Good.

I got trashed around my kids when they were young. And today – I’m paying for it. We communicate, my kids and I, but our relationships are strained. More-so with my oldest who remembers things clearly. Today my kids are 25 and 31. I really put my drinking on the starting line when my oldest was about 12. My timing couldn’t have been more off.

When I first got sober, more than anything, I wanted to mend my relationships with my kids. And this didn’t mean shit to them. Yeefuckinghaw, Mom got sober – again – for the 401st time. Now, it’s been over a year and while I plug away at my own life they’re doing the same thing with theirs.

It’s not always easy to leave them alone to do their thing, but I learned real quick not to impress myself on them. Their healing timeline has NOTHING in common with my sobriety timeline. We communicate and to me – this is priceless. And they know where to find me 24/7. They reach out when they want to and I respect that regardless how little I adore it.

I’ve never been an ‘A’ student when it comes to employing patience. My kids are excellent teachers.

Mauritius

Hm.

Ever been? Ever even HEARD of it? Me Neither! And I’m so bummed. I look at all these amazing countries around the world and have to acknowledge that I’ll probably never get to see them – not in person.

Life is so fucking short – not to mention that part that none of it is guaranteed. And I drank away 23 years. Gone. Poof. Never to get them back no matter what I do. Even if I had billions of dollars, I can’t buy back my history and change it. What a bummer!!

Yesterday I was watching World War Z with Brad Pitt. I’d seen it before, but I was drunk back then so – I wanted to see it again because I didn’t remember any of it. Half way through the movie I get this fantastic idea that I’ll hop on my rowing machine and multi-task. I’ll watch the 2nd half of the movie AND exercise. Sweet idea, right? Except I dropped the remote and it hit a button that changed the channel to CNN. This wouldn’t ordinarily be a problem – just change it back, right? WRONG. I had restarted the movie and if the channel gets changed during the restart, it won’t go back to the program it was on. I lost the 2nd half of World War Z. Gone. And I was pissed OFF about it.

Brad Pitt is not my favorite actor and anyone can guess how a freaking zombie movie starring him might turn out – especially when he’s the hero, but NOOOOOOOO – I had to get really worked up about it anyway. I tried to find something else on Netflix (Netflix blows) and finally gave up after rowing for half an hour. I went to bed at 7:00 where I played Words With Friends for a couple of hours. I didn’t know what else to do with myself. Go to bed, I said. So, I did. How depressing. I felt depressed.

In the past – I would have drank a liter of vodka over that injustice. I’d have already been drunk in the first place, but I would have taken that experience personally. Now that I’m sober, not getting drunk is still sort of new to me even though the thought of drinking is repellent. The enormity of my disappointment caught me a little off guard.

What to do with feelings? I get it – they need to be experienced and even expressed, appropriately, but they sure are heavy sometimes. And I really hope I figure more of this shit out before I poof out of my existence. Maybe I shouldn’t have watched the movie in the first place… It seems sort of silly now that I’d get so T. O’d over not being able to watch the 2nd half, but in the moment – I felt saturated with dismay. Maybe I’ll never get to Mauritius. That’ll suck because I think I’d really like it there. There’s only so much time, and so many things that can get done or seen or accomplished within it.

Time. Sigh.

I don’t know. I can’t get to Mauritius today so I guess I’ll just go on a bike ride. I could buy the movie I lost last night, but today – I no longer give a shit. Go figure.

What is Blackness? Will A Hug Fix It?

Like – what’s in there? What’s inside blackness? It can’t be void of everything. It has to be composed of AT LEAST whatever it is that’s making it black in the first place. So – what the hell is that?

Is it fear? Pain? Suffering? Is it just a color or the lack of color? Is it all things negative? Are all things negative feelings and sensations? What about perceptions? Can those be colored in blackness? Hm. What about behaviors? Is it possible to act or behave without thought first? I don’t think so.

I was thinking earlier that it would be so cool to be able to offer the planet and all things on it – a hug. Even the bad guys (and gals). I’d just spread that feeling that comes with a hug all over the planet and to every living thing. Just because I can – if I could. And then I wondered about blackness and evil. What penetrates those things? If a light is shined on blackness long enough – will the light ever seep in. And what’s light anyway – besides the light that comes from my lamp?

Is light love and compassion and kindness and hugs? Is it airy? Hm.

Maybe.

My hug offer still stands. Hug someone today. It feels good.

Who’s Bored?!

I’ve decided that strict routines are a recipe for mental disasters. They make me crazy. But, when I mix up my routines a bit, this changes my groove for the whole day.

I make small changes in the direction I take to get places, I change what I eat and where I eat it, I complete stuff from the bottom of the list first and go up instead of from the top, I wait to shower at the end of the day, I exercise after lunch instead of after breakfast, or I get up earlier just so I can read before I start my day. I switch up random stuff all the time, and small changes are all I have to do to make life more interesting.

And it’s all free. I’m not doing anything differently – I’m just coming at things differently. Small changes, like the small stuff in relationships, make big differences.

Granted, adventures out of town are the best, but we can’t all do that everyday. I’m just talking about not going to bed every night feeling like there’s got to be something MORE. Repetition is B O R I N G.

Prayer IS An Action. But – – – Wait A Minute!

I see a lot of folks offering things like: “Pray about it.” Or “Connect with your higher power.” Or “Have you asked God for help?”

What I don’t see a lot of – and I’m talking about activity in rooms for addiction and/or recovery – is, “What have you done to try to fix this?” Or “What have you tried that didn’t work?” “What have you tried that DID work?” Or “What WILL you DO to address this?”

At some point, I think that in addition to prayer or outside of it altogether – we have to take responsibility for and ownership of whatever is going on that we’re praying about in the first place – and DO something about it. Usually, I see that people are praying for either help or answers. But even when we get an idea that we think might have come from God – don’t we have to act on it before it becomes something more than just a thought or idea?

I could be off here, but I don’t think God is in business of assisting some folks – in whatever way someone needs assistance – while NOT offering it to others.

Think about it.

Why, for example, would God help some child abuser avoid arrest/punishment while allowing the child to get hurt in the first place? There are loads of examples like this and it makes NO sense that God wouldn’t help people – vulnerable people – that are weak in the face of the more powerful. So – I conclude that God doesn’t work that way. We have choices and therein lies our power. And we are responsible for the things we do and don’t do – and for the things we say and don’t say. Making choices and our power to act on our decisions are our birthright.

When we’re on the right track in life – something inside us tells us. We just – KNOW.

And when we’re NOT on the right track in life – somehow – we know that too. And we’re given opportunity after opportunity to do something about it.

Listening to ourselves, making right choices and follow-through are key. When we stop over-thinking things to death or waiting for something from the outside to happen, and we starting doing something – a new reality is born. We change what was into something that IS. Like, for example, I used to drink and now I don’t. I stopped swallowing alcohol, no one did it for me – including God, and everything changed. Actually, my perception is what changed. But because of how monumental that is – it feels like EVERYTHING changed. It’s pretty cool.

Are You DRUNK Right Now?

Are you thinking you want to get sober because your life SUCKS? Yeah. I’ve been there.

Check this out. Here’s what you no longer have to worry about if you choose to stop swallowing alcohol…

When you’re sober, you will NOT:

Drunk dial anyone, drive drunk, pass out, black out, experience hangovers, spend hard-earned money on booze, say regrettable things, DO regrettable things, fall down, hurt someone, forget things, go to jail, go to the hospital, send incomprehensible texts and emails, worry the people that care about you, lose your job, lose your drivers license, wreck your car, lose relationships, or lose your mind.

Look at all that crap!! That’s a shit ton of drama right there. That’s what abusing alcohol brings us. Is that fucked up or what?

Stop swallowing alcohol. Do something – anything – else. Just don’t hurt anyone.

THAT’S the answer. Everything ELSE you do to help you not swallow alcohol is just that – it’s help – it’s not the solution. The solution is to stop swallowing alcohol. Help equates to the toppings to your sober pizza.

Swallowing alcohol creates problems. It doesn’t solve them.

STOP SWALLOWING ALCOHOL THAT’S ALL YOU HAVE TO NOT DO.

So, when the urge to drink hits, but that other part of you doesn’t want to drink – what do you do? A N Y T H I N G.

How Embarrassing.

I watched this video on YouTube and my heart sank. These women have ZERO self-respect. ZERO integrity. What happened to employing a little courtesy when out in public? What happened to showing another person just a little respect?

I don’t know… There is no excuse for the madness. There is no excuse for the lack of self-control.

I don’t understand what drives people to make fools of themselves like this. Yes, these women were caught with someone’s cell phone, but guys are just as guilty of throwing punches. Some people are even walking around in states that allow it with guns hanging off their hips. IN PUBLIC. GUNSLINGERS!!!

What might have happened here in this video if one of these people had been carrying a weapon? Men were involved here too, they’re just not shown until later in the clip.

Good lord. What a hot mess.

This is why staying inside and having shit delivered is the way to do it. Screw all this madness. I don’t want anything to do with it. Being a social animal just isn’t that big of a deal to me and if I think I need some mental stimulation, I can take the cats for a walk, open a book, or turn on the Food Network.

No drama.

Inpatient Rehab

I realize not all people are fond of change. In fact, the mere idea of it freaks some people out. I – and a handful of others – like it – a lot. Change offers opportunities to learn things, which is why I have never been opposed to going back to inpatient treatment for my drinking. I’ve been to rehab seven times. Each time I went somewhere new, sometimes to a new state, and the one thing I loved most about going each time was the newness of the situation. I like new stuff – doesn’t matter much what it is.

Is that weird? Am I the only one on the planet who gets into that? Probably not. Hopefully not. That said – rehab is good for other things besides a change of scenery. If nothing else, it provides the new resident with a time-frame from which to experience life without getting stoned, lit, drunk, or high.

Most treatment centers that I’m aware of offer programs of at least 30 days. Thirty days in a structured environment offer residents time away from their drug/s of choice. You can’t get fucked up in treatment. If you do, you’ll get kicked out. Time away from our drug/s of choice allows our brains a change to air out. New residents will meet new people who suffer from similar illnesses. They’ll be introduced to structure and they’ll get to learn about their drug/s of choice. Most importantly, residents get the opportunity to come to realize WHY they go after drugs rather than say “No Thank You.”

None of us were always addicts or alcoholics. We evolved into it. Why? That is the question to walk into treatment with. The answer might just surprise you.

I highly recommend going. I think the one thing that freak folks out the most is this idea that treatment is like jail. It’s not. I’ve been to jail and when you get sent to jail, you can’t just walk out. Treatment is a place to go and stay for a long minute, but it’s only temporary. In rehab, you get to go outside and sometimes you even leave the property and go places. In one of my treatment centers, we did yoga on the beach. In another treatment center, we had equine therapy. In yet another, we went to freakin Disney Land. No shit.

Some residential centers look like a business while others look like a big house. There’s always lots of groups. Big house groups and smaller more personable groups. Unless you’re rich – you will have to share a bedroom. Take headphones. Also – I’ve never – not one time – been allowed to keep my phone. It’s confiscated on admission along with other items deemed contraband. You will be allowed to use a phone – just not your own. And you will get your phone back when you leave – so chill out.

If you can remember ONE THING – remember that residential treatment is temporary. And – If you can manage to walk in with an attitude of intending to leave with something – anything memorable – you’ve already scored.

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